If April showers bring May flowers, what does June give us? Click here to find out!

Before I begin, here's my last months short story post I, Pencil


Well we are almost into June now, and the weather is starting to get nice and hot. This is great news for everyone who likes to spend time outdoors playing frisbee, but not great for people who are starting an indoor rec facility. As many people often enough fall into more than one category, I fall into both of those. But still, summer is great when you have no job and can hang out by the river every day.

This year, I have decided to go vegetarian for the month. As I write this is is May 31st, meaning I have one more evening before that goes into effect. From what everyone who is already a vegetarian tells me, there are 'sooooo many' things to eat and enjoy, but as it stands now the only thing I have in the plan is a vegetarian stir fry where I will add in cashews. Neat.

I will still eat fish and eggs, so not full on vegetarian. Apparently this is called a Pescatarian.

In all honesty I dont think it will be that difficult. I have pretty much cut out beef entirely already (except for once or twice a month), and I never ate pork or shellfish anyway. So in reality the only thing left is to cut out poultry, which I have already cut down on.

It isn't that I dont like beef and chicken - I really do - this is purely an environmental decision. Cutting out meat protein is good for the environment (beef especially). The amount of land we use to raise animals, plus the land we use to grow food to feed our food, plus the water used, plus the substantial amounts of methane that cows give off, is very hard on the planet. So simply put, cutting out meat is good for the planet. The hardest part is that summer time is all about bbq's, and hamburgers are so delicious. 

So my June will be meat free, and at the end of the month I can decide what I want to do moving forward. I don't expect to stay vegetarian after that, but will without a doubt lower my meat intake of both chicken and beef. Apparently this is called a Flexitarian. There's a name for everything these days.

June is going to be a busy month. It starts off this coming weekend with an ultimate frisbee tournament in Vancouver #Flowerbowl. My dad is coming to Calgary and Banff for a scrap metal recycling conference, I opted out of going to the Student Energy Summit in Mexico (sadly, it would have been a lot of fun), and is capped off with Ho-Down/Slo-Down ulti tournament in Calgary. And then I need to decide if I am going to venture to Seattle to play Potlatch to kick off July.

In the mean time, I am also working on Leading Change, and as mentioned, starting a new business here in Calgary. So even though I am not working, I have never been busier!

PS: Starting a business is confusing, but so far pretty fun (probably because I haven't spent any actual money on it yet, but that is about to change!)

Thanks for reading,
-Elliot

I, Pencil

I, Pencil

Hello, my name is B2 and this is my story. I was born and grew up as Cedar; living as a lively, healthy and growing tree. Spending my days soaking up sunshine and rain with my friends, to later writing words on a page, including the words you are reading right now. I know you are reading what I am writing because I am the one writing them, and you are here reading them.

I was born many years ago as a seed floating on the wind; I don’t know exactly how many years have passed, but I know it was long ago. I grew up to be a tall a cedar tree, and I was very tall! In fact, I was so tall that the other trees used to look up to me and dream of the day they would grow to be as tall as I was. My highest branches reached up above the clouds and all the way to the stars. From the top of my upper branches you could see the entire rest of the forest by looking one way, and the snowy peaks of the mountains by looking the other. My pine leaves were always green; whether it was sunny or rainy, snowy, or a mix of all three. And my bark was strong. Being one of the tallest trees in the forest you need to have strong bark to keep out the insects, bugs and birds that might try to get under your skin.

As a cedar I peered down on the plants and animals that walked below me or landed in my branches; sometimes some of them came and made families right there among them, and I always enjoyed having them stay for a while. I was home to the same family of blue jays that came back each fall to build a nest and hatch their babies, and to catch the delicious bugs to eat. Along with my brother and sister cedars, we watched the world as life trundled on. Unable to change the path of whatever trod below, we could only stand there silently watching. I never got tired of standing in one spot, for I had never known anything else to do.

One day as I enjoyed the afternoon breeze on a bright, chilly, afternoon, I heard a new sound. At the same time, I felt a sharp bump right near my roots; it was a loud Thwack. And it didn’t stop.

Thwack.

A strange looking animal stood below me. I couldn’t really make out what it was, but I knew it wasn’t a bird or a bear, and it certainly wasn’t a bug. It stood upright on two legs. So strange.

Thwack.

It held something in its paws, swinging it back and forth. Each time it swung, I heard that sound and felt that unfamiliar bump together. What was going on down there?

Thwack.

I tried to make it go away by shaking and throwing one of my branched at it, but that didn’t do anything.

Thwack.

Finally, after what felt like an entire single sunshine, I lost my balance. There was a large cracking noise as I started to slip, and as I fell over the animal below me yelled, ‘Tiimbberrrrrr,’ until I hit the ground with a mighty crash.

Lying on my side was a weird feeling. I could see the strange animal up close now; it was not as furry as others I had seen, and it had no wings or feathers either. So strange.

For the first time in my cedar life I was able to speak to the ground. “Oh, hello ground,” I said. “I’ve never been this close to you before.” But the ground didn’t respond. It just lay there, lazily doing nothing.

As I lay on the ground the animal began pulling off all my branches; big and small, even the ones that had blue jay nests in them. One by one they came off until it was just my trunk. Soon after my branches were removed I was dragged away from where I had stood my whole life, pulled across the ground (who still hasn’t said anything by the way), and loaded onto a truck. Although several other trees were with me it was a very lonely trip. Somber.

After some time (time is hard to tell during the non-sunshine’s), we arrived at a brand new building, one that I had never seen before. I recognized some of it as other types of tree, not cedar, who had a new job to hold up a metal-ish roof, made of some kind of material.

I was unloaded from the truck and placed onto a conveyor with a lot of new noises that I didn’t particularly like. First, my strong bark was removed; then the rest of me was divided up into smaller parts, some long and skinny, some short and flat, and some as wide as the widest part of what I started out as. You see, as a tree gets cut into different pieces we each retain the memory of our life as the tree we were. We are one, but we are many. We were Cedar.

After the rest of me was shipped off to different factories and warehouses, I was cut down small and ended up as the pencil you now hold in your hand. No longer do I feel the wind rushing through my pine leaves. They replaced my strong bark with a yellow coat. They stuck a red hat on me and something grey inside me, which I’m told helps with your imagination. I haven’t seen a bird in some time and I miss being able to hold them, but sometimes I get to write about them; which I enjoy the most. I also miss ground, even though we never even talked.

And now I have a new purpose. My sadness relates to what I was, and I choose to instead look forward. I don’t quite understand it, but somehow ideas turn to scribbles, and those scribbles are seen by other people, just like you right now. ‘Words’ is something I have heard people call them. Now I am writing those words and thoughts that come from your mind, through your hand and into me, and through me onto the paper! Even though I have lost a lot I am proud to be an extension of you; of your thoughts and dreams and imagination. I get to help bring your ideas out and spread them around to new people who never thought about who I was, Cedar.

So use me up; when I become dull, sharpen me. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Write your stories about little girls and boys, or about evil emperors and castles, or famous authors that came before. Write sad and happy stories. Write a song, or an essay or a book. Maybe even write about a tree that gets turned into a pencil. Just don’t let me idle. I was alive once and the only way I can remain that way is through you, Dear Writer. For I am just a pencil, I am B2, and you are the author.

Japow and Japan. A Haiku.

When I started writing this I was sitting on a bullet train going from Tokyo to Kyoto. Today (yesterday now) is the start of the last part of my six week jaunt that started with my trip down the coast of California; two weeks travelling around Japan. Our first train ride began, as it sometimes does, with a little hiccup when we the train we boarded was going in the wrong direction. Luckily it wasn’t going very far, only one stop to Tokyo Station, so we were able to jump on the next one that took us where we want to go. #shinagawa_to_kyoto #cant_read_japanese

The last week and a half was spent skiing in northern Japan on the island of Hokkaido. I met up with our group of 12 skiers, some on same plane as I was, some who landed earlier, and some who landed after me, in the Sapporo airport. We picked up and loaded our rental cars (while being honked and whistled at by airport people in a bus loading zone), and were on our way to Hirafu!

The drive up was a sketchy 5 hour drive through possibly the most intense snow storm I have ever driven in. It was dumping. Great for skiing, not as great for driving in! Japanese roads have road lights at short intervals alongside the highway to let you know where the edge of the road is, and I couldn’t tell you how handy those came in. I can try though, very. Gusts of snowy wind, snow drifts, closed roads and a detour, a pee stop in the very middle of a tunnel, and five hours of driving later we finally arrived at our hotel, Always Niseko.

We skied at Niseko for four days, with a few people diverging to a different resort here and there. The first day was porr visibility but incredible snow, the second day was beautiful vis and some new snow, the third day was not that great, and the fourth day was again incredible; the best day so far. On the fifth day we skied Moiwa on our way to Asahidake. We skied day six with cars split between Asahidake and Faruno, I rested on day seven, and then skied Asahidake on day eight. Day eight gave me the deepest and lightest snow I have ever skied; it wasn’t very steep or long, and again the visibility wasn’t great, but the snow was deep, soft, and fun. #partyin407

While we had lost a few people to flights home along the way, our time in Tokyo would be the last as a larger group. One of the overall highlights of the trip is the Robot Restaurant, which every tourist and person in Tokyo should go see. Seriously spend the $70 and go see this shit. It was the funnest classic Japanese mix of robots, flashing lights, and choregraphed dance party; when you think ‘Japan’ this is what you are thinking about.

Finally today (yesterday), Feb 7^th, the group split asunder with most people returning across the Pacific. Sarah and I picked up another traveller, her cousin Alex, who joined us for these last two weeks. The three of us, Sarah, Alex and I, boarded the bullet train to Kyoto and had an epic Japanese BBQ dinner of chicken, beef and veggies. Even though tomorrow has already happened bu the time I post this, I will add it in the next posting.

Going back a little in time to wrap up California, Lei Out in Santa Monica was fun but not sunny. It was mild on Saturday and raining all day Sunday. I didn’t play as much ulti as hoped for, but had a great time hanging out with some friends from across western Canada. I also ate delicious, delicious poke every day. I haven’t seen any ulti in Japan yet, but needless to say if I do, I will jump in for a game! From Venice I jumped on a train to San Diego that ran along the Pacific coast along the coast which was beautiful, for a visit with Jared, Carla and Reggie, before flying out to Sapporo.

Snow fell in Japan

Skiing in snowy heaven

Ramen is so good

Thanks for reading!
-Elliot

Global Warming isn't real and I know because it’s cold and rainy in California

Week 1 of #wayoutofoffice

So here I am in Sunny* California, for a two week trip to what was supposed to be a dry, rainless California, where I could bask in the droughty dryness of SoCal. Clearly they need the rain here to combat the worst of the drought, but did it have to be this week? I mean, I get it. I just think the storm could have held off while a group of fun loving Canadians descend on Santa Monica to play some Ulti, all who all believe in climate change. WE ARE ALREADY CONVINCED, WEATHER!

Anywho, it is what it is. Now I am sitting in my rental car waiting for the rest of my friends to arrive at our rental condo, so I can a) get inside to drop my stuff off so I can return said rental car, and b) get inside so I can pee. This rain isn't helping either of those things. Weather aside, it has so far held out when I needed it to, and has only rained when I have been dirivng. Tonight will likely change that pattern, but it is expected to be sunny tomorrow for day 1 of the tourney, so heres hoping to that.

PS you know that sound when you go through a car wash of the water hitting the car? That is what it sounds like right now. I like it.

It has been a pretty great week of #funemployment so far. I spent four days with the Leva’s in San Fran with a very pregnant Ari, who is about to give birth to a human baby. I went swimming with Darren in the Pacific Ocean (I wore a wetsuit – he did not) and rode a(n electric) bike across the Golden Gate Bridge to Sausalito; it was hilly, chilly, and beautiful. Although Sausalito itself is not that interesting, tbh. We also went to an amateur comedy thing on Tuesday night where I got hit on by one of the comedians, and potentially missed a nightcap with Julie Ash, who was actually pretty funny. I had an incredible visit with you both, and can’t wait to meet baby Leva.

The drive down from San Fran to Santa Barbara was of course beautiful, despite it being wet. I made my first stop in Pacfica for a coffee and bagel, and then continued on the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH). My next stop was at a coffee shop in Santa Cruz where they had no Wi-Fi (wouldn’t connect) or bathroom (waiting on the plumber). From the coffee shop I headed down to the Santa Monica pier, in the rain wind and cold, because I couldn’t go to SM and not walk to the end of the pier. Plus, sea lions.

[Note: It is 2017. Places that don’t have Wi-Fi should post it outside so people like me know to go somewhere else]

From there I took left the coastal highway and took the main highway south to Santa Barbara. I found my way to my AirBnB, which was this incredibly cute, kitchy place not far from downtown. I mean, I don’t think SB is that big, so everything is likely close to downtown, and this was no exception. The place had three different rooms in the backyard and a shared bathroom. It was actually pretty cute and cozy. I made a new friend as well #ThanksMeagan in SB who plays ulti in SB, although he also plays for the pro league, so he is, mmm, just a little on the more elite level than I am. I walked along the beach, drank some wine, drank some beer, and then had a fun night out. All told a great couple nights in what is now my favourite city in California.

This morning I drove from SB to Santa Monica in the pouring rain. Half way along the 101 and half way along the PCH. I stopped to take one picture of the coast in the rain and wind, and didn’t get to see any of Malibu. Such is the way #cali_rain_ia

I arrived in Venice and met up with my ulti team at our Airbnb here. We got a few dranks, and are getting geared up for Lei Out tomorrow! Hopefully the rain rain stays away and comes back another day. Like Monday, when we are leaving.

Thanks for reading,

Elliot 

*California is currently not at all sunny.

Pictures are not in any particular order

Santa Monica, where we will be playing tomorrow.

Santa Barbara beach, looking for buried treasure

SB

Topa Top Brewing Co

Sea lion chilling, Santa Cruz

Leaving the beach, follow the tsunami evacuation route

I can't remember which beach this is

Just another rainy beach, somewhere between SF and SC

Redwoods between SF and SC

Dan and I playing some pool in SB

Yes...

If you need me, I'll be out here doin fun shit

Today's blog post has been brought to you by:
-Severance
-A zebra
-The letters F, U, and N

Follow along with the hashtag #wayoutofoffice

Today I head out for another trip to another country, and then another country after that.
Schedule:
Jan 14: YYC - SFO
San Fran with the Leva's from 14-18
Jan 18: Rent a car and drive down Highway 101 to Santa Barbara
2 nights at Whitney's AirBnB in SB. Just chilling, sitting on the beach, drinking wine, reading, scoping out UC Santa Barbara
20th: Drive to Santa Monica for Lei Out! #BananaSeat
The drive will take me along the coast and through Malibu, with expected arrival in SM for a late lunch, hopefully with Neil R.
20-23: SM and some beach ulti!
23: Train to San Diego
23-26: SD with the Sandersons
26: San Diego - Denver - Tokyo - Sapporo
27-31 Niseko
Feb 1- 4: Asahidake
Feb 4: Sapporo
Feb 5-7 Tokyo
Feb 7-10: Kyoto
Feb 10-18: Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Mt. Aso, Naoshima, Yufin, Osaka
Feb 19-22: Tokyo
Feb 22: Tokyo - Denver - Calgary

See you in a few weeks, and I will post here whenever I feel like it!

Thanks for reading,
Elliot

Funemployment day 90 ish

My last funemployment blog was September 28th, so if that was Day 1 then today, December 22^nd, must be day… ummm…. 90 ish?? Whatever it doesn’t matter anyway.

Here I am, sitting at the library trying to look back on the past couple months, as I continue to try and figure out what my life will look like in a few months from now. First things first, here are updates from my past three month’s goals.

Goals to the end of December:

·         Don’t be a fuckin slob (success)

·         Write one short story a week (500-1000 words) (half way success - I took a short story writing class, which helped)
·         Make Leading Change 2017 a priority (success)

·         Write my business plan (not a success)

·         I will literally argue with anyone on Facebook (or anywhere) who is voting #Drumpf. (uhhh…technically a success, but in reality we all lost this one)

·         CUA Party is going to be great! (November 5^th!) (success – we ran out of beer, and then had to get more and ran out again, so all told, a great time #hipsterjacks)

·         Save money. Don’t spend it on random shit anymore. (I’m gonna have to call this one not a success)

I am now well into my de-clutter phase, trying hard to get rid of all the 'stuff' that I have collected over the past seven to 10 years. I have sold a few things, given away a few others, and still have a number of items on Kijiji I am trying to hock. 

As far as my January to April goals go, most of you know that some travelling is booked! I will be spending two weeks travelling down the coast of California, visiting friends and playing some beach ulti along the way. I plan to spend one night somewhere on the coastal highway, with a bottle, or several, of wine and a book. After that there's a week and a half in northern Japan skiing, followed by two and a half weeks of travelling the country. Yeah, I agree, it's probably gonna suck.

Hopefully I wont get lazy (I will) or wear sweatpants every day (I might), but I will certainly do some more volunteering, some of which I have already started to figure out! I will let you know what it is when I get it sorted out, but surprisingly people are pretty eager to let you work for no money! 

Leading Change Capital is coming along! We have a schedule* *schedule is subject to change; we have at least one company that wants to sponsor us* *money not yet confirmed or received; we have so many people who are interested in coming* *none yet registered; we have started getting speakers lined up* *I don’t have a note for this; and we have a venue* *we don’t actually have a venue. But we do have five people on the Organizing Team who are all working hard to make it a success, and it will work out just fine. So all in all, things are in the works! #LeadChange17

And I guess the rest of my goals are to read and write more, and have a great time travelling. And when I get back, I wilasdagkdsj gfdsgsdgds…. Oops, looks like my brain wont let me think about that yet, other than some ski trips which will likely include a combo of Vancouver/Whistler/Smithers in late March. So keep an eye out for that!

So, what does this mean for today and tomorrow, and the next few days before I leave on my adventure on January 14^th? Well, since I am still employed, I login to my computer everyday and ignore all the emails. I forget about meetings, and since I got my own phone I don’t get notifications about them either. I do find that I unconsciously flip through my phone looking for my work calendar only to find it isn’t there. Terrible habit that I need to break.

In any case, work is slow and I have been spending my days not working. De-cluttering my life, reorganizing my home, and enjoying the sunshine. Yesterday I gave away a six piece espresso and saucer set, and just last night finalized a deal to send two fondue sets (one dinner, one dessert) to a family in Smithers, BC who only have one fondue set, and are therefore deprived.

I posted a short story as my last blog, one that I wrote for part one of my creative writing class last year. I will review a few others and make some updates, and will then look for new ideas and inspirations. And that is pretty much everything updated so far!

I continue to think that these changes, even though they were somewhat unexpected and forced on me, will end up leading to new and greater things. I look forward to what the future brings.

Updated goals for January-April
Not really changed

• Don’t get depressed
• Get up every day before 9 AM
• Don’t get lazy, and don’t wear sweatpants! Well, at least not every day.
• Volunteer some more
• Travel!
• Write one to two short stories every week
• Make Leading Change a success
• Get a business plan rolling again

As always, Thanks for reading.

-Elliot

One Americano Please

“One Americano, please.”

“What size?”

“Uh, whatever. Just pour me some java.”

A minute later I hear “Americano for…someone.” That’s always me, ‘Someone.’

I grab my cuppa joe and sit back at my table. It’s Wednesday night. Hump day. People watching from my seat at the coffee shop, just drinking my java juice. My first sip is bitter, just the way I like it. My coffee, that is. I guess I am a little bitter, too. That bitch took my couch after the breakup, the last vestige of adulthood I had left. Now at home I just sit on the floor, eyes glued to the tube. Eyes, ears, nose, face entirely. My body struggles to find the best position to sit on my patchwork of blankets and pillows that serve as my new couch. Life, huh? I quickly finish my first cup of java and go back for a refill. Better be free today.

“Uh. Hi, again. I was just here. Um, I got this coffee cup, you see. So, if. I could, uhh, get a refill.”

She’s pretty, this one. I bet she gives me a free one today.

“Well, we don’t normally do that. But I’ve seen you here before, so just this once. Okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, right. Thanks. Hi. Name’s Tyler,” I mumble. That’s all right, she is busy with customers and stuff. But hey, free java.

“Someone’s Americano”

“Uh, yeah, that’s me. Thanks. Umm, so hi. My name is, I’m Tyler,” I try again.

I sit back down and drink my second java of the night. The other people sitting in here are all different shades of average. Tidy hair, brown penny loafers; not great people watching if you ask me. I guess I could be sitting at home instead, but it’s my cold feet that stick out the end of my floor blanket that really gets to me. Sitting on my floor, on top of a too thin blanket and below a too short one. I sit there like a junkie, the TV as my drug. Doing anything else is better for my mind. And my body. My soul, too, I guess, if you believe in that sort of thing. Me? I’ve got no idea. I like the idea of a soul being part of you while you’re alive, something that keeps your insides all together, other than the blood and guts and bones, I mean. Something to show the world I was here.

“Hi there. Tyler, was it?”

I look up, and the barista-girl is standing there. Blonde hair in a pony tail down her back, and freckles running down the left side of her face like teardrops. I almost drop my java right there on my lap.

“Hi. Yes. Hi, how are you?”

“Oh. Well, I’m fine. It’s just that we are closing in a few minutes. So, I guess you’re going to have to go home. See you next time.”

She knows my name.

Where am I gonna go now that I’ve got two cuppa joes in me? Maybe her place? One day. I guess I’ll head back to my blanket couch and glue my eyes to my drug for the next few hours. Life, huh?